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- Emily Hooyer:
I <3 ONE DIRECTION!!! Especially Nial - The Pretty Princess Girls:
hey jo :) :) :) we moved our blog here - Jo Dauglas:
WOW!!! i love your blog it is awsome and - Kayla:
I have been trying to find that white pr
SO over our daddy issues…
pretty thoughts…
SO over our daddy issues: the totally honest, and maybe a little bit sassypants, 411 from the daughters of cheating fathers.
why we’re buzzing…
another blog asked us to comment on an article about cheaters… sooo, we naively gave our basic girl power vibe on it… cheating = bad. not cheating = good. we had no idea that we’d start a crazy maze of people DEFENDING cheaters and why people stay in relationships with cheaters?! we were quickly reminded why we usually avoid website commenting unless it’s something like “totally cute hello kitty purse!”.
we decided, whatev – we started it – so we’ll finish it...
well, with the exception of one of us girls - who has like the awesomest dad ever... the rest of us are kids of daddies who lied, cheated, and did a whole bunch of other stuff that sucked. we've made the intentional choice to a. not let it make us bitter or hopeless, and b. to deserve better for ourselves and not settle for the same experiences. we picked our top 3 "Daddy Issues" we're learning from and choosing better...
Daddy Issue #1: All dudes cheat...
you know... it's all just Charlie Brown teacher language to us... "it's genetic", or "harder for guys to be faithful", "the devil made me do it", "if only you had been more this or more that i wouldn't cheat"... blah blah blah.
what we say...
cheaters cheat. people who choose to cheat will cheat. it has nothing to do with who they cheat on, and it's a personal choice - not a gender issue. to view love as a pre-programmed losing battle from the get go and say an entire gender sucks at all costs? - that's total poo poo to us. that's just dudes like tiger woods trying to take down the entire gender with their sinking ship. we know there are faithful boys in the universe, and we're not settling for less.
Daddy Issue #2: If someone cheats stay...
- 1. "I'm staying because I love him".
- 2. "I have to stay... we have kids."
- 3. "I'm going to stay and help him work on it."
what we say...
- 1. we think that's when people confuse "love" with attachment... for reals love doesn't cheat. idealistic? yup. do we still believe it? yup.
- 2. our mommies stayed... it only exposed us to years of learning how not to let boys treat us and years of watching a woman have her self-esteem torn down. like Dr. Phil says..."better healthy alone, than sick together".
- 3. it's not a girl's job to fix a boy or make someone else choose to be awesome. we are all totally responsible for our own awesomeness or un-awesomeness.
Daddy Issue #3: Boys are threatened by confident girls...
this is probably the one that we had to overcome the most because our daddies cheated on our mommies with total randoms. it's the idea that all dudes have some secret dark need to have a 'real relationship' in one hand - and an empty experience in the other hand. they all want someone 'meaningless', 'powerless', and 'vapid' on the side to make them feel like Mr. Big.
what we say...
we let this one mess with our heads - until - we decided that only insecure guys want insecurity in a girl to make them feel bigger.
we will be funny, confident, independent, adorable, smart, passionate, beautiful, and anything else we want to be... and we wont play small to anyone... we'll wait for someone whose awesome enough on their own to kick it. :D
“we wont play small to anyone”. The last part is really how you have to live your life. If people are going to cheat, they are going to cheat. You can’t ever cater to other people’s weaknesses. You have to be who you want to be as a person and let the people who don’t deserve you fall to the wayside.